Big days, bigger updates and follow ups
One of the major rites of passage in an individual’s life (boy or girl or in this case, your son or daughter) is their marriage. As someone belonging to the Indian subcontinent, I belong to a culture that’s vastly diverse and belief systems that can range from acceptable to superiorly conservative. And therefore I am able to write this point of view with utmost confidence that it will be something that is considered in all honesty for what it is, a point of view. Not a ruling. Not a dictum. Not an order. And for that matter, not even a request.
Coming back to topic, the biggest day = marriage. Same sex. Opposite sex. To a tree. To a plant. To a building. There seems to be a variety that’s acceptable today. And just for this reason, it’s one of the biggest reasons for families to run ‘broke’ or bankrupt. The endless lists of requirements. The seemingly endless rituals. The chore like activity of gifting. The expected ‘bride – gift’ / ‘groom-worthy-gift’. I can see the numbers fly and the accounts depleting rapidly. But it is done. And every bit is done with style and panache worthy of the couple. Big day is done. Couple goes through months of adjustment, which may in some instances stretch to years. A lot of them get through just fine. Reproduce. And then the cycle repeats with the next generation. And if things go this way, then super! Awesome! This is where those super awesome golden jubilees, diamond jubilee marriage anniversary parties make sense.
Then there are those instances when things start to go downhill from the get-go. In a couple of months, the couple realize this is just not for them. And the inevitable happens. The big-break-up. While the marriage is a big day in the life of the boy/girl, I feel that the break-up should be just as important in their life. Like friends and family came to bless the couple and like they will most likely have an opinion on the break-up, it’s imperative that they are around when things fall apart. Maybe not together under the same roof, but there must be an event to mark this occasion. Remember, you brought them tons of gifts to start a new life together. Now, they have decided to part ways, figure out what the one you are loyal to requires and make sure it’s available to them. From furniture to appliances to crockery, sometimes, the break-up requires a new set-up to help get over the fact that it did not work out. And it could be the relationship, the partnership or anything in-between.
The requirement sometimes is not just of objects of value that could be purchased at a store or at the mall but could be something as basic as a shoulder to lean on, a hug at the end of the day or someone on that 3am speed-dial. Just as you ungrudgingly gave them your blessings on the big day, give them your unconditional support on the bigger day – the day they decided that this union was not for them. Because sh#@ happens! Things fall apart for no apparent reason. And nothing is more important than that individual. Not the union. Not that relationship. Not even the decree that declares them divorced/broken-up/no longer partners. And because you still want them to know, the world is still a place worth living in.
Just a little more 