Cherish!

What personal belongings do you hold most dear?

Dad was the first stylish man I knew. He would spend time every morning on grooming. If he was headed to work, then it would start with a shave and then a shower. He invariably used whatever bath soap Mum left in the shower, and normally that would be Mysore Sandal Soap. Post-bath was the mirror session. He would spend more time in front of the mirror than Mum did. After shave, followed by some cream for the hands and some gel for the hair, which would be styled perfectly, every single curl in place. Then he would use talcum powder on the body, most of which would be on the bathroom floor and then he would dress up. He always wore a vest inside the shirt. The shirt had to have the perfect razor-sharp crease. I remember standing at the dhobi store waiting for the coal iron to heat up sufficiently to get the perfect crease. His trousers had to be spotless as well, with one single crease running down its length. He used to rewash a pair if it had a double crease and then I would get the lecture because I would be the person supervising the guy that ironed the clothes.

I did spend enough time around the laundry and the ironing store to know the best way and fastest way to get the perfect crease. I knew that a nylon sock was the best material to be used to sprinkle water on the shirts, to dampen them mildly to ensure the creases would hold. I knew that if he ironed a starched sari before he ironed the shirt, then the shirt would get black streaks and would require to be rewashed. But these were the clothes he used to wear to work regularly. Then there were the clothes he used to wear to catch up with friends. One of these was a v-necked grey pullover. It had a black line running across the chest. And it always smelled like him. It still does even today, almost as if the yarn has soaked in his essence. This sweater is easily the oldest garment I own, obviously since it’s Dad’s and he had it for a while before he gave it to me. This is one of my favorite sweaters. I don’t lend this. I don’t share this. This is only mine. I have never offered this to the kids or the spouse. It has a hole in one sleeve and the cuffs are frayed, but if the sleeves are folded and the sweater gets a gentle iron, it is still wearable.

In grade 5 I participated in a drawing competition organized by the water supply company in my hometown sponsored by Camlin. I had no idea on what to paint, but had accepted to participate. Usually, Mum had some ideas and would guide us on what to draw or do in the art competition. This time, she was a bit busy and I did not have time to waste. With just the evening to prepare for the competition, I asked the family if anyone could help and the oldest sibling stepped in and gave me an idea. I created what she had asked me to do and showed it to her and we sat and made some modifications until she liked what we had done. Typically these Camlin competitions announced their awards almost immediately. But this time, they announced the results after 2 weeks and I was one of the winners. I was awarded a gift card for Rs 500 from a bookstore. Back in the day, this was a big amount. I had started reading Perry Mason and Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys and made a list of the books I could get for this amount and even gave Mum this list. One glance, and she told me that the only book I would get to bring back home would be a book on General Knowledge. Her point was that story books would only be read one time, by kids of a particular age. But the GK book could be read many times and had no age limit. So off we went to Blossom Bookhouse and I got myself the “Big Book of Questions and Answers”. I did read this book from time to time, but I used the book to copy images and paint. This book has a question about Christianity and the illustration for this query is an image I have constantly painted on numerous cards as gifts. My first book. The Big Book of Questions and Answers still holds the pride of place in my library.

Growing up, all of us had specific plates allotted to us, so we would not fight at meal times. The oldest had a medium round plate with a curved edge and the older one had the same plate, but I think it had been dropped, so it had a couple of dings on its base. My plate had a sharp edge, it was a smaller circle than the older siblings’ plates and my younger sibling had 2 plates of the same kind, with a more relaxed edge. It looked more like a deep bowl than a plate. But there were 2. Dad and Mum had oval-shaped plates. And I always thought that we were the only family that had plates assigned to every member. It was only after I got married that I realized that the oval plates were probably some kind of a gift given to newlyweds because even the in-laws had those plates. Dad used to mix our food for us and always used his hand to mix it. Once the food was suitably crushed to almost a fine paste-like consistency, he would scrape his fingers on the sharp edge and hand me my meal, saying it was perfectly vennaikatti meaning it had the consistency of soft butter. I liked my plate only for that sharp edge. You could not do the vennaikatti on any other plate and this was the most delicious bite in the entire meal. I stopped eating on this plate when we got the microwave home. Mum purchased a set of melamine plates that we could use in the oven to heat our food and since we could not put stainless steel into it all our steel plates remained unused. I don’t know how the plate relocated, but I did stumble into it outside my home and even asked for it. I got a convoluted story of new purchases made for the new home and was never invited again. That plate never found its way back to Mum’s kitchen either. I lost that plate, but the memories remain. I continue to look for the plate every time I go shopping, but haven’t yet found a replacement. Every time I’ve gone on a nostalgic trip and tell my younger sibling about where and when I found the plate and then lost it again, she reminds me, that it was because of me that she lost her plates. When Tara’s puppies were about 3 weeks old, we decided to get them some supplemental food. So we purchased cerelac. But, we did not have a bowl to feed the pups with and that’s when I remembered that we had two deep-dish plates that could hold the semi-liquid feed so the pups could access and lap it up easily. I had convinced the younger sibling that the need for the pups was greater than her memories and since my plate had relocated hers were the only ones we could use. So for the next few weeks, we fed the pups cerelac on her plates. Once we were done with the cerelac, we fed them their food on those plates until eventually, we left the plates for the pups to drink water from. The plate discussions always crop up when we talk about the pups and feeding them sitting on the center table. It’s one of the more fun memories of adopting Tara.

“Never a lender nor a borrower be” is all Mum ever told me. And I took that to heart, so I don’t like to borrow or lend my stuff. As the tallest in the family, I could not borrow clothes or shoes from anyone, and that worked in the other direction as well, so this adage worked just fine. My personal belongings are very dear to me because growing up, that is all I had.