How do you balance work and home life?
“Balance is not something you find, it is something you create”
Jana Kingsford
Back in the day, when I was part of the rat race and went to the office regularly work ended when I stepped away from the desktop. Those were the days before laptops were not given willy-nilly to one and all. Then I thought you were ‘cool’ if you had a laptop and always aspired to have one. But I was just the lowly writer that sat at a desktop, and not just any desktop, I sat at the desktop that made Charles Babbage a name to be reckoned with. My ‘work-life’ was balanced by my desktop. My system took about an hour to boot up and an hour to shut down. If I worked extensively on Microsoft Office, it would auto-restart and that was a half-hour break. If I decided to try accessing the CorelDraw App on it, every time I hit save it would take 20 minutes to complete my command. That time when my system was doing its mechanical thing, was the time I could not access my work, so it was my time off. I loved that computer. I used to get a decent lunch break because it had to save some work. I eventually moved from this company and joined a company that gave me the next-gen desktop. This system was just ‘meh!’, it took less than 10 minutes to boot up, not enough time to use the washroom or fill a glass of water from the water filter. I missed my earlier system! It cared enough to give me the time for self-care. The balance I had so carefully cultivated and got habituated to was lost.
The next place I worked at, started me off on the desktop and eventually gave me a laptop. I had “arrived”! My supervisor would call me, while I was driving back home, for some ‘quick clarifications and some work-related queries. This is the pre-Bluetooth-connected car days, so speakerphone conversations with the windows rolled down left a lot of the conversation open to interpretation. There was absolutely no balance. There was no off-time because you had a work laptop and had to finish more than the regular 9-5 job entailed. I wanted to return to my Charles Babbage system, which made me realize that I wanted to leave. Eventually, I moved to a place, that did not give laptops, and I was never happier to join a workplace that gave desktops to the Marketing team. The office was located outside the city limits, so we even had an office bus that was scheduled to pick up and drop us off. I was beyond ecstatic. This was my ‘ideal’ work environment. A 9-5 where I had to step out of the office at 530, to board the bus to head back home. No laptops. No carrying work back home. It was a step back to move into the future. But, what a break!
It was around this time that I got pregnant and quit my job to enjoy life as a pseudo-whale. Quitting the rat race was bittersweet. I missed the camaraderie, but not the traffic or the bus-driver-level road rage I was a part of to and from work. It’s been almost two decades, and I haven’t gone back to an “office” scenario. I did try the ‘remote’ work option for a bit in between where I hardly got time to consider ‘life’ as an option, it was just a work-work scenario. While I am still curious and eager to consider an “office” 9-5 kind of scenario, not too keen to pursue it in a remote option, as you never get to ‘step away’ from it if you are working from home.
With the kids came a different kind of work-life definition. Work for me was everything I did and life covered everything I did with the kids. So, my tangling designs, blogging, binge-watching, writing, cooking, baking, and exercise are all work. Walking with the kids, or watching a movie with them, or listening to them talk, concerts with them is all life. As a stay-at-home mom, I get between 6-8 hours to complete my ‘work’ and when the kids return from school, it’s time to kick off ‘life’.
When the kids were younger, life included completing school work, and projects, taking them out to play, introducing them to new friends, proposing games, arbitrating differences, settling fights, speed shower sessions, and dinner and bedtime stories. As they grew older, some of these activities were reduced and some others expanded. In the early days, I was the teacher, and then COVID hit and we learned together and now I am the student. From language to usage of words and then to understanding nuances of life in schools today, I get tips and tricks on how they navigate the intricacies of life in high school. It’s usually a lot of fun and games and the occasional heartache and disappointment.
Work-life today is a lot more fun than it used to be earlier. Kids get you to look at the lighter side of life. Sometimes this does get the blood pumping, but eventually, the giggles get to you and you understand the importance of life and the place work requires to stay. I’ve realized that balance at 40+ is more about the ability to walk on the road without stumbling and falling on your face, than the ability to push work aside. Kids today are more vocal about time away from work and taking things easy, than we were back in the day.
Just a little more 