The early bird

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

The early bird gets the worm

Back in the day, freshly boiled milk was my weakness. Eventually, I graduated to drinking coffee. Not any coffee, the one that my dad brewed first thing in the morning. In south India, we typically drink filter Kapi. The first decoction of the day is always the one that packs the punch. Fresh decoction and freshly boiled milk, mixed until it’s slightly frothy (nore is what it’s called in Tamil) are flavors to be savored. This is a, ‘if-you-know-it-you-know-it’ kind of situation. But that kapi only works the first time around. The second cup, where you re-boil the milk, and make the decoction again, just does not have that flavor. That’s where he started insisting on the ‘early bird getting the worm’ adage. To be honest, I have never seen a bird eat a worm, or even look for one, so I have no idea what he was on about. All I knew and cared about was that first coffee. Dad made coffee only if you woke up, it was never premixed and kept so that you could reheat using a microwave. Ever! And if any of the siblings came out, before you did, then the cup was fair game. I have lost my first hit of caffeine to the younger sibling who on occasion did not mind drinking it even before she brushed her teeth! (still shudder at that thought, as my OCD kicks in). And I preferred that first cup. So, I started waking up as he brewed the kapi spending some quality cuddle time with the dogs. The days when I woke up earlier than Dad, and there are some of those, and I brewed the decoction and Dad came down following the smell, I felt like I had achieved a milestone. And that’s where the kapi brewing training started. From the number of spoons of coffee powder to be used in the filter to the quantity of water, Dad taught me the make it like he did. The crisp fresh air blew in through the door, while the aroma of coffee wafted around as the filter did its magic, combined with the smell of freshly boiled milk and everything would be great with the world that day. It was like a magic potion.

There were days when I slept in and got the colder decoction, mixed with the milk that was reheated. And then there are those days when I got the coffee, made from the second decoction. And the coffee Mum made when she did not want to make it. Man, I missed Dad’s first brew at those times. (Mum made astounding coffee when she was in the mood to, but it was not often. She made amazing chai every single time) No amount of sugar changed the taste. It was bitter. Almost vile in comparison! And Dad used to wait patiently, to see my reaction, to see if I had learned my lesson. And only then, would he set about recreating that first brew again. And it worked like a charm! I used to be up as soon as I smelt the first decoction brewing. The early bird…  that delicious cup of kapi, I got what I wanted.

Without even intending to, even Amma was put to the kapi test. My first trip to my in-law’s home, and I waited eagerly for the first cup. It smelt the same. I was in time for the first brew. I saw the milk boil. I saw the froth. But the color was deceptive. That was when I learned about peebree kapi powder which is what they preferred. It’s an acquired taste, and to be fair, Amma brewed it fresh. Every. Single. Time. She had a smaller filter, and she patiently brewed the coffee. And boiled milk in batches. She passed a test; she had no idea that she was evaluated for. And she taught me the advantage of patience. Boiling milk in batches is a pain, you are perpetually standing around, waiting. But you get amazing coffee. Every. Single. Time. And if you can’t take time to savor that first cup, what’s the point?!

While Dad taught me the importance of that early bird… Amma taught me the importance of patience to wait and get what you want. The way you want it. But in all this time, over more than a couple of decades of early wakeups and fresh kapi or chai or black coffee as the preferences evolved, I have still believed in the early bird theory. So much so, that I have used it for the kids as well. I have tried logic and science to explain the circadian rhythm and the advantages of an early start. I have tried the freshly brewed kapi as well, and apart from me, there is no one thrilled with it being brewed first thing in the morning. To be fair, the kids have humored me and pretended to like the early start, but nature sometimes beats nurture.

Over the years, I have seen their timelines evolve as their preferences evolved. Amma used to insist on patience. She never issued ultimatums and never gave deadlines. She just waited. She believed.  

“Be patient. The best things happen unexpectedly”

A tough lesson to learn for me, so late in life. But I did. And the ‘early bird’ did set in. Just for different reasons. While one kid wakes up, to finish studies earlier, so there is more time with friends during their ‘awake’ hours, the other wakes up to be on time for sports practice. Their interests beat my bribes and I’m not complaining. We are still with the early birds…     

But, as I started to write about the early bird adage, I googled to get the original quote, and here are versions that I have never thought to use, with Dad. You know, to justify sleeping in. I have listed a few here, and I know, when the kids read this, I will be the recipient of the comebacks, but what is life without a good debate or a healthy conversation? Especially if it starts early in the morning. You know… early bird and all.

 I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm

Franklin D Roosevelt

I’ve always wanted to be the early bird. I never even considered wanting to be the worm. I’ve never looked at it from this perspective, but, what a genuine point.

The early bird gets a choice which, to me, is more important than the worm itself

Stacey Alcorn

Again, the perspective of choice is probably one aspect of this adage I never considered. Having the time, being early enough to choose options, to being late and left with no options. I would always opt for a choice.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Willie Nelson

And just like that, food for thought.