Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”
John C Maxwell
Change- the first time I consciously thought about this was when the kids were a couple of years old. We were settled in our hometown and had secured admissions in one of the most happening schools in the vicinity. This school released application forms only for one month and a week after that the admission notices were put up. The school gave parents three days to fill out the forms, submit the details, and pay the fees to secure admission. They did not answer calls, they did not email the results. As the parent, it was your responsibility to visit the school premises every week and at times twice every two weeks to check the notice boards for the results. The board on which the results were put was situated outside the office and the security that manned the gate to this office would let parents enter the premises only at scheduled times that he refused to announce earlier. You get the drift; this was the toughest couple of weeks in the life of parents in a tier 1B city in India. At that time my city was Tier 1B, today it’s a Tier 1 and comes with all the pollution, chaos, traffic, smog, and issues that plague a Tier 1 city. Overpopulation, higher rents, pathetic infrastructure, and water-based issues just to list it in order of things that irritate me about the city today.
Anyway, if you’ve had kids or grown up in India, you know this drill. Admissions had been secured and we were thrilled. This ensured that the younger kid would also be given admission in the sibling quota. Our life was set! Kids were in line to the most competitive education ever and we had secured seats in the kindergarten, so we knew that education was taken care of until grade 12. The key word here is competitive, the jury is out on whether the school was relevant, whether the education was all-encompassing, and if this competition was healthy. I know for a fact that we had to work very hard to redo our kindergarten that year. The constant projects and assignments ensured we became proficient in all things kindergarten.
And towards the end of the year, around the time when the results for kindergarten were to be put up, and we got to know if our child had made it to grade 1, we found out we had a project-based placement in a different city. Do we keep her seat ‘booked’ in the current school? This would mean paying school fees at two different schools so her admission would be secured when we returned. Or do we live the life of a split family- I stay back with the kids and the spouse travels around to work and returns every once in a way. We could have the school of our choice, our savings would remain, and nothing would be disrupted. And as the SAHM, that decision fell on me, because while my spouse went to work, I had to fill the gaps as they arose. A big decision.
“Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.”
Author Unknown
What a googly!! Do we accept this chance? It would mean relocating to a different location, which would involve leaving our new home (relatively) out for rent, securing admissions, doing the entire research on schools in the new location evaluating the curriculum, and identifying the boards (CBSE/IGCSE/ICSE/CBSE(i)/STATE Board), application, fees, budgets. The list is never-ending and daunting in its expanse! And this time, we had no idea if the sibling would get in on quota or would be evaluated on merit. Then there was that big decision, do we apply for the transfer certificate and leave the most competitive school in the history of schools? We had decided and were about 80% sure. But we wanted feedback, so we started with the international calls to the sibling for the real details on studying in a Tier 1 city and locations to consider when making this move and the STD (state Trunk Dialing – interstate calls were billed separately those days) to talk to the younger sibling to inform her about the impending changes and the local calls to the other siblings to inform her that she would have the city for herself and not face the risk of running into us at random places. And then my mother demanded and got a hearing on her opinion. CHAOS!! But eventually, the decision was made.
We moved. We relocated! And OH. MY. GOD. What a change that was! What a change it has been! That was the first time we made an active decision to make a change. Move out of our comfort zone to a different location and do something different. Yes, we had already secured admission to the school of our choice initially in the hometown and yes, this change would disrupt that. And yes, we had just finished moving into the home of our dreams, and relocating automatically reduced our budget. We would be moving back into a smaller house, further away from where we wanted to be. But adrenaline kicked in. We decided to let go of the safety net and see if we would sink or swim. A new state meant new languages and a different culture. Education in India is competitive, but we were moving from extreme competition to maybe a level lower. We would still be fighting to survive, but the kids were young enough to be able to make this change and adapt to it. We decided to work with the assumption that ‘change is a constant’ and made the effort to make that change.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
Winston Churchill
The duration of that project was two years, and these were the most chaotic two years of our lives. Living on the 12th floor of a high-rise, was an experience. Watching the kid handle the bullies on the bus, without letting the lack of language affect the conversation. Holding her own at age 6, handling the change, adapting to it, and then shining encouraged us to keep going. What a year! The younger kid started playschool and learned a couple of other languages. The older one bloomed with independence. One-hour bus rides, handling bullies with aplomb, returning home later in the evening. Going to a school in the second shift (yes, this school had a shift starting at 7 am and one at 1 pm. We were in the 1 pm lot and school ended at around 5 and the return was scheduled for around 6 pm. What a relaxed couple of years. I managed to complete a course in Early Childhood and Childcare Education and even completed a trek with the family at this time. We spent time with family and the parents (on both sides) got to spend some exclusive time with the kids. And all this was possible only because we decided to make that one change in our life. To accept “change is a constant.” To believe that we could make the change and still thrive. And we’ve done this multiple times now. And I don’t know if the kids are enjoying it, but we sure are. I am. Every move has meant some new lessons learned, some learnings dropped and some evolved. Adapting to new cultures and living out has helped us appreciate the differences and accept the similarities with humility.
Just a little more 