Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?
Did you know:
The nose of a dog, is unique.
That the shape, tears, notches, holes, and ear venation patterns in elephants help identify them.
The stripes patterns on a tiger, help identify it in the wild.
The pattern of rosettes and whisker spots are unique to individual leopards.
Human fingerprints are unique and help identify individuals.
I am unique because I create my story, decide my path, and work towards what is right for me. Why not view our quirks and differences as things to be celebrated instead of hurdles to be overcome? Our experiences and our reaction to those experiences make us unique.
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
Margaret Mead
I’ve always believed this quote to be true. My reactions to a situation are very different from the reactions of another person. This person is not required to be a stranger. I have listed two shared experiences and two reactions. And in both experiences, my reactions have been contrary to that of the group.
A couple of decades ago, the family went on a trek to the EBC. A well-paced, relaxed affair, the trek was scheduled to be completed over 15 days. The first couple of days were a period of enthusiastic participation. As a group of 15 adults, all of us were highly competitive, the first couple of days saw some crazy speeds, as all of us tried to better each other. Day 3-6 started to get slow and monotonous, as we climbed higher and required acclimatization walks, and as the tree line started to disappear, the enthusiasm started to reduce. The group was the same, and everyone was appraised of the plan and yet, a slight change in landscape seemed to affect all of us differently. While there were those, who enjoyed the bleakness of the landscape, there were those who were completely unaffected by it and then there was me. The barrenness of the landscape seemed to smother me and affected my morale. At this point, we were mid-way and required the same effort to go forward or backward. The sibling stepped in and changed my focus from the landscape to her and all I had to do, was follow her voice and step on her footprints. From day 4 until almost day 12 when we turned back from the EBC, I was her shadow. And on day 12, when we turned back and started heading down towards the tree line and oxygen and life, my feet had wings. I abandoned everyone and flew downhill. This trek is identified as a technically tough trail and there is no shame in abandoning it. But, as a family, we were here for a different reason, and I was reluctant to abandon it. So, they rallied around and encouraged me one small step at a time. The experience for all of us, on this trek was the same. We stayed at the same locations, we ate the same kind of food, we walked the same distances. And yet, my reaction was unique.
A decade ago, the family went together to learn SCUBA diving. I was comfortable in the water, and with swimming, but the ocean and breathing underwater was more than I had bargained for. Like most first-time SCUBA divers, I panicked, and the instructor patiently tried to talk me out of my panic. However, I was unable to identify the cause of my panic and hence was not able to overcome it. So, while the entire family finished their certifications on that trip, I did not complete my certifications. I rescheduled my certifications and returned a couple of months later, to complete it. I have tried and failed to identify the cause of my panic, but that’s a mystery I haven’t yet solved. I loved every part of the dives I completed with the certification and have never regretted getting it. But it took me that extra amount of time to get comfortable with the underwater part.
“What sets you apart can sometimes feel like a burden and it’s not. And a lot of the time, it’s what makes you great.”
Emma Stone
I’m normally a very ‘brutally honest’ kind of person. I know that I’m not the diplomat in the family. I won’t mince words, I may not be polite, but I try not to be obnoxiously rude either. I try to keep things balanced. And I’m quite outgoing. I love adrenaline-popping rides, fast drives, and crazy stuff, yet the trek and the SCUBA certification had me reacting differently. I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I am afraid, you will know that I am, and if I am happy, you will see that as well. I’m generally open to having any and all kinds of conversations and with the people I love, nothing is taboo.
The reactions I had to these experiences felt like a burden to me- I felt like I was the weak link in the group. And it’s taken me a while to understand that I was the only one who voiced my emotion. And when I did, and when everyone rallied around me, it also made them take a step back, to do things slow, to ensure I was part of it all. I can’t speak for the others, so I don’t know if taking things slow because of me helped them cope with the chaos of it all as well. But it sure helped me. The plan for the SCUBA certification was that we would do a dive as a ‘family group’. When I panicked and did not complete the SCUBA certifications that trip, that ‘Family dive’ did not happen and the burden of that entire trip being wasted landed on my shoulders. This one took a lot of time to get over because we lost a couple of members and are yet to complete that family dive. But it made me accept, over time, that this is not something I enjoy, it’s a skill I learned. Completed. Done. That’s it. It’s off some random checklist, I did not even know I had. To be honest, I am not going to go SCUBA diving on my own anytime soon, and I may very well be the only person who’s going to ensure that that ‘family dive’ does not happen in the future. But it is what it is.
“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”
Stephen Hawking
Just a little more 