Que sera, sera.

What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

Did you know that Elephants are amongst the most intelligent animals on Earth? They have large brains and exhibit many complex behaviors and emotional capabilities. Their temporal lobe region responsible for memory is more developed with more folds, resulting in their ability to access important survival data like where to find food and water or who is a friend or foe. Studies have shown that elephants not only recognize one another, they are also able to recall alternate routes to food and water sources when their usual areas dry up.

I have this weird ability to recall the most mundane incidents from my childhood in all their gory graphic details. And believe me, it’s not a blessing, it’s more of a quirk because I can’t remember the passwords I set for my accounts yesterday. I can’t remember the lessons I studied no matter what kind of mnemonic I used while doing it. But these incidents are something else.

For instance, one of the houses we lived in growing up was a ground-floor house, with a small compound surrounding our home. The washing stone was situated prominently in the backyard. A thread carrying the washed clothes swung lazily in the slight draft. These were what is today referred to as ‘row houses’. The houses in the back row were ground +1 structures. My house and the neighbour’s house on our row were just ground structures. The plot behind my house was empty, but that plot was raised, or our house was a lot lower. So the wall along my house was a tall one. Our house had a compound wall running all around, not so large on the three sides that I could not scale them, just the back one was high enough to warrant me to climb the wash stone, to jump and scale it. While one side of the house, the compound wall was rather narrow, the other side that housed the stairs going to the terrace had our pet dog, Tinku tied under it. She was a barker, so usually, we always got to know if someone came near the gate. The gates to my house were never locked. The doors always used to be.

This house was the furthest we have ever been from my school, more than a 10km radius. So I used to go and come back on the school bus. The younger sibling had been enrolled in a playschool nearby with extended day-care. The older siblings used to ride their cycles to school and they were usually home before I got back. But that particular day, they had not yet returned, and I had come in early. My friends on the street in front of my house had returned and changed and were out playing. But Mum’s instructions, “When you get home, you wait, drink your milk, change your clothes and keep your bag carefully inside the house, and only then go out to play,” rang loudly in my head. I knew that if I went out to play in my uniform, without keeping my bag carefully inside the house, the consequences would be bad. So I walked around the house, checking the windows, to see if any were open, or if anyone was inside, twice. Although after the ruckus I had created just getting into the gate, ensuring even Tinku notified anyone three rows around us about my arrival, hoping that someone slept through it, was just wishful thinking. But, I was filled with hope, my friends were knocking on the gate, inviting me to join them. I waited, for what seemed like an eternity, but was just a couple of minutes, sitting on the porch steps outside the front door hoping someone with the keys to the house would return. The game progressed, the team I was partial to losing, the urge to join them growing even though I was hiding behind the wall, pretending to look through my notes. Giving up on the work, I walked around the compound again, hoping, the key would manifest itself somewhere. I walked through the clothes, noticing that I had a full set of a change of clothes hanging there dry, waiting to be folded and put away. I stood there leaning against the back door, observing silently while an idea formed in my head.

 The concept of ‘shame’ was deeply ingrained, I had no intention of a striptease outside the house, but I wanted to change my clothes. So I looked around, standing at the door, to see who could see me, the logic was simple, if I could see the places when I stood there, then anyone standing in any of those places could see me where I stood. So, I had to find a ‘safe’ space where I could stand and not be seen. The backyard only had a hollow washing stone. This house did not even have a kennel for Tinku that I could have hidden in and used to change my clothes. Still thinking about this problem, I saw the clothes hanging on the rope, lots of tee shirts, and just one sheet, and towels. For a family of 6, we had the craziest kind of clothes hanging on that string, is all I thought. But the more I looked at the towels and that one sheet, the crazier my idea got, so first, I re-hung the clothes on the string to see if hanging all the towels close together would create a large enough curtain. It didn’t work, the towels were not long enough. The single sheet was the perfect length, I knew that I was well hidden behind it, with only my ankles visible at the bottom. But, it was not enough to provide me cover all around. Then I had another idea, leaving the clothes, I ran up the stairs to the terrace to see what was visible there. Bad idea! It was open to the sky. And everyone could see everything from everywhere. The parapets in this house were covered by balusters on all sides, so I could not even hide behind them. What was I thinking? I knew that the terrace was a bad place to hide, which is why I never went up to my terrace while playing hide and seek. I would be caught out first.

I tried to silently creep down the stairs because I did not want to alert Tinku. Again, what was I thinking? I now realize, how stupid it is to try to ‘silently creep’ by a dachshund with its amazing sense of hearing! Anyway, I returned to the backyard, stooping in disappointment. Nothing was normal. Where was the family? How could they be so late? How could they do this to me? All the while, I was silently stomping the backyard. i walked through the clothes. I walked up and down. I stood near the wall. I stood six feet away, near the door. Nothing! There was no way to hide here. No way for me to change my clothes and go join my friends. My team was losing, because I was standing here waiting for the family to return. Then I walked again through the clothes when it hit me, I could stand inside the bedsheet hanging out to dry and change my clothes, if I was quick no one would even know. So that’s what I did. I brought my clothes in and made the switch. I did not check to see if I was caught in the act or not. I was so happy to find such a brilliant idea, that I just walked back to the front with my uniform in my hands. I even cuddled for a couple of seconds with Tinku who was super thrilled to see me. Then I arranged my bag at the front door, packed away the books I had been pretending to read, folded my uniform, and placed it neatly over my shoes and socks. All this to ensure that Mum was not too angry with me. I knew I had to wait because that’s what Mum would expect me to do. But I was eager to join my friends, I did not want to lose my play time because the keys were not around.

This is a real incident from my life. Happened more than a few decades ago. I changed the access code to my device last evening, and I have since entered it incorrectly enough number of times to be prompted to, “ reset the password, if I have forgotten it”. I don’t even know how I remember the details of the design of that house, let alone the balusters on the terrace, but I do, and I cannot remember the characters I may have used to create my password! Un-be-lievable! Now tell me, is memory a secret wish you had? Why? I wish I had a choice in the kinds of things I got to remember. My head seems to be filled with tons of anecdotes and incidents from my life growing up in a tiny town rather than the more important bits of information that would help me land a job, or improve my proficiency in the workplace. Don’t get me wrong, I remember the incidents that happened while I learned the skills required for the job or the ones that helped me improve my efficiency, just not relevant bits. Que sera, sera, I guess!