Who is the most confident person you know?
Defined as a feeling or showing certainty about something.
Have you ever observed a toddler? Or a teenager?? They are confident. The toddler, because they don’t know better. They don’t have the vocabulary, but they understand the concept that they have a mind and want to exercise what tiny bit of control you can provide for them. Watch them have a conversation on the phone and you would be amazed at how astute they are. With a minimal vocabulary, the toddler can walk around with a device on hand, having a full conversation with imaginary friends. The conversations are loud and clear and they are able to continue with the conversation without reciprocity. With a slightly more advanced vocabulary, a teenager does the same. Walks around, having a conversation with a real person at the other end of that line.
I watched this with Kid 1. Hold the device in hand, press buttons, and walk around having a conversation. Pause in the middle, and make the ‘hmms’ and ‘haws’ noises at the appropriate parts of the conversation. And conclude said imaginary conversation with a greeting.
Jump to a few years later, and Kid 2 does a repeat of the same incident. Another device. Walking around having a conversation with an imaginary person at the other end of the line. A similar understanding of the requirement for a pause during the conversation and culminating in a farewell worthy of a movie script.
Jump to a few more years later, and Kid 3 repeats. Another mobile. Walking around and having a conversation. No language. No vocabulary. That’s not a problem. It’s an ongoing conversation with an imaginary person. That starts on cue, pauses on cue, and culminates on cue.
And today, I have Kid 4 doing the same thing all over again. There is a device. There is a conversation. There is walking around. There is also the communication that they are not interested in that conversation or tone of voice just now, so they just hang up the phone.
So confidence is not about having the vocabulary. It is the feeling of being certain. All four kids were confident there was another person on the other end of those conversations. While one may have accepted that it may have been imaginary, the others continued like it was the norm. A progressive vocabulary helps build this confidence. Today kid4 is just about getting into the rigors of regular classes and language building and the confidence spurt because of an improved vocabulary can’t be illustrated enough. But the vocabulary helps them define what they want with certainty and this makes them confident. Not having the right words to express themselves did not make them less confident, they were very clear and sure of those initial conversations.
These four kids are the most confident people I know. The teenagers because they are aware of social cues and responsibilities, but that does not stop them from doing what they feel like or saying what they feel like. At the other extreme are the younger kids, who have no clue about social cues and no one can place any level of real responsibility on them, yet they are confident youngsters.
My little cousin was the most confident person I knew growing up. She was the same age as my sibling, but as an only child, she was allowed to explore a lot more. When I was in my tenth grade I contracted Measles and was bedridden for a fortnight. As a medical representative, Dad put me on a round of anti-virals and a mild sedative for the duration. Towards the end of the infection, while I was recuperating, my uncle dropped in with his family for a visit. While Dad believed in modern medicine, my uncle and aunt felt that I had to make an offering to a particular deity to appease her for my healing to be complete. The deity had a temple, situated some distance from the house. On Aunt’s insistence, Mum gave me directions and asked me to go. I knew the location and while I had no issue with the going or returning, I had no idea on what had to be done there. The older siblings were not around, but, this little kid, understood what had to be done at the temple and how, and offered to accompany me, if I knew how to get there and back. I had never been to a temple on my own to offer a prayer, but she more than made up for my lack and handled the what and how. Her confidence inspired me then and continues to inspire me today. It’s been a long time since she passed, but her one act of kindness and understanding has always inspired me. To try a little more harder. To be a little more confident.
Just a little more 