Describe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on.
DIY or do-it-yourself and Project is defined as an individual or collaborative enterprise to achieve a particular aim. One of my interests has always been reuse, I spend some time repurposing and reusing things around the house. So, I sometimes collect (spouse calls it hoard) things that I can repurpose and use. Old water bottles to store water near the potted plants. Then there is always the small battery operated motors and accompanying paraphernalia that I always have on hand for rainy days projects.
However, by the above specified definition, raising kids would be my most ambitious DIY project ever. It’s believed that, it takes a village to raise a child. And this is very true. Specially in the construct of the modern day, double income family or even the 1.5 income family, where the wife only works part time. I meant, part time where she earns a remuneration for her services. The rest of the time, she’s a full time homemaker. And that’s a job description I won’t touch. Ever. So in these instances, that villagers step up and help take care of the child for short bursts of time. The villagers, in this instance usually refers to friends and family who don’t ‘charge’ for this activity. So it’s a learning or spending quality time sort of experience. Aanganwadis or nursery schools or day cares do not fit this requirement. And that’s where the, it takes a village to raise a child becomes a reality. And this is where it turned into a DIY project for me.
A few years ago, we decided to uproot ourselves and lead a nomadic life. We worked with the belief that, ‘Change is inevitable’ and decided to rock the boat, by changing the location of residence. This meant a change of schools, and a move out from the ‘village’ we had set up in the hometown. The move was a culture shift, and a big shock. We adapted. Kids adapted. And I struggled to find the ‘village’ in our new base of operations. And that’s when I realised the importance of, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. While we made the move as a nuclear family, the extended family aka village could not relocate with us. Unknowingly, we had embarked on our biggest DIY project ever. Raising the kids to be responsible adults with a full set of working appendages and value systems. The relations came, sporadically for visits, but this shift was a change for them as well, so it was a vacation more than a ‘raising kids by the villager’ kind of scenario.
Initially, we made sufficient trips back and forth for the move to not make that big a difference. Relatives spent time and energy with the kids and their lessons. And then Covid happened, for almost 2 years, everything came to a standstill. There was no meet ups, no relatives, no visits. Then evolution and age caught up, with the seniors crossing the bridge and that really stopped all interactions. Today, the kids are raised by me, where I try to understand their emotional, physical and mental requirements based on how they react to something I say or do. Trial and error is the name of this game. There is no ‘hand-me-down’ lessons that my mom is trying to teach me about how or what she learned when she was raising us. Moms’ are not around, and hence the hard lessons and harder reactions to the behaviour.
I find that DIY is a great equaliser, because it lets you learn something new every time you embark on this journey. You’ve never learnt carpentry, but this does not stop you from assembling a shelf you picked at IkEa. You are not an electrician, but this may not stop you from creating a table lamp with a shade made by you for your kid. You may not be a photographer, but this won’t stop you from assembling a collage of home- photos of your kids growing up that you’ve taken on your phone. You are not a teacher, but you will spend time teaching your kids to understand that something is wrong and explain why this is so.
DIY. Everything or almost everything is something you are doing for yourself in today’s nuclear society. And fortunately, even raising kids away from the village, is considered a project that will stop when you think you have achieved what you set out to- their freedom, independence and success.
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