True Story
Trinitrotoluene we were, NOT! T & T is just a short form of our names, Tara and Tina. I was 17 years old when I got Tara home. Tara was a black Labrador mongrel. She was one of three pups in her litter that survived. It took me almost a year after her litter, to figure out that I would be able to care for her. So while Tara was not potty trained or leash trained when we brought her home, she was the perfect bundle of joy we needed at that point. This was more than 2 decades ago. And to be honest, I’ve never had the courage to replace her or her blonde baby, Butch, the yellow labrador mongrel she had.
Tara is the Rottweiler-looking black Lab on the left and Butch is the yellow lab on the right. Blaze is the all-black lab.
The last 15-odd years, I’ve always had a pet around me. So, when I say you should have pets, I have weighed the pros and cons, and truth be told, I continue to weigh the options daily.
For the sake of this discussion, I am restricting my topic to only owning or having a dog as a pet, and not a cat or a bird. I have had an aquarium as a semi-adult and while I vouch for the passive nature of having fish as a pet, the sheer weight of replacing water and cleaning filters and feeding times and water temperatures push these into the ‘exotic’ category.
When deciding on important facts of life, I start by answering the 5 W’s and 1 H. Then of course, I use the emotional aspect to decide. And here, the feedback of everyone involved is important. For this topic, however, I will merely mention why I got her and the stories associated with that adoption and this should give you a rough idea on if and when and how you should adopt. Also note, I am a big believer in the ‘adopt don’t shop’ thought process. Again, I will let you decide the best option for yourself.
The long con of co-ownership
My basics, I got Tara, because she was available and I was able to convince my parents and her owners of co-ownership. That’s how it started, co-ownership – my parents gave me a year, for me to prove that I would be able to take care of her and her owners gave me a year in which time they could settle in and take her off my hands, if she proved too much of a trouble. However, as the case is, or was, Tara moved into our lives and hearts and remains there till date. We have or rather I have not been able to replace her. So, when I tell you think hard seriously before you get your dog, I mean it. They are not toys. They are not going to remain ‘cuddly’ all their lives. They have moods. They have off-days. They are dependent on you for all their requirements. They are expensive.
I got Tara from my uncle, and she was a pup that their dog, Hema had. Prior to bringing Tara home, we had a Dachshund called Tinku and before Tinku there was a mongrel called Byrah. Tinku was tiny and pretty, par for the breed but was more like a toy to me. I must’ve been around 12 years or thereabouts, when she passed away. I was never attached to her, at least not the way I was attached to Tara or Butch. They were my babies and the heartache their passing put me through has made me rethink getting pets or dogs.
I was a traumatic teenager when Tara was born. She was part of a litter of three pups and she was the only survivor. She was a pup my uncle’s dog, Hema whelped and I saw her off and on over the next year. The co-ownership was a con that paid off. I am sure my uncle knew this, but for whatever reason, he let it go and let me bring Tara home.
Qualities & gifts
She was a bundle of energy. She understood ‘No’, but there were a lot of times she chose to ignore it. She ate with no fuss. We were not babies, so we did not know the do’s and don’t’s of rescue dogs. But, she was almost as crazy as a new-born pup. She was happy, cheerful – in short, a bundle of energy. She never snapped, or bit or growled. I could put her bowl down, and pick it up in between and she never growled at us. She ate treats. She played fetch, without being taught to play. She had her bath easily, never once growling or being irritated when water poured down her face. Or when I scrubbed too hard. She got herself towel dried. Slept outside. Or inside. She was the ideal pet. She would not bark, when told to keep quiet. Even-tempered and calm. Every single time. Even when she was whelping and in pain. She did not growl when I took the pups to clean and kept them away so she could walk around doing what she needed to do to bring them out.
Traits and describing words
The words I would use to describe her, would be calm, steady, active and happy. Tara defined calm. Nothing fazed her. She would listen to crackers and while her eyes were dilated, she was happy to sit silently by your side. She loved to cuddle. Always. In fact, she was 100% cuddle-bug. And these are the traits you should look for, active, happy and calm. A simple tip while you pick your pup would be to wiggle your toe or finger at the litter and the pup that comes to you, would be active and happy. Calm, would be defined by how happy the little fellow would be in your arms/ lap.
If this would be extended to a rescue because you like to adopt and not shop, then you would look for calm and active, and happy would follow when he was settled in your space. This could take anything from 3 weeks to 3 months.
Remember that you would spend the next three months, training and understanding your dog or pup as the case may be. This is a period of learning and curiosity for you and for your pet. Spend it getting to know what your pet likes and figuring out what you like and what you would want your pet to learn. Potty training, leash training, commands, safe spaces, dietary preferences, and veterinary requirements, vaccines, medicines, supplements – this is the time to learn about each other.
Reasoning and reasons
While I convinced myself that I was the big con. It was Tara all the way. She was the big con. She led me to believe that I was in charge, when in reality she was in charge. She was the adult in the two of us. More mature, except when another dog winked at her from the other side of the mirror. The scratches on that mirror remained until the day we got rid of that dressing table. She calmed me down. I had to think before I accepted an invitation, not because Tara did not have options, or sitters, but because she was my responsibility, I was given the power to decide what to do for her. And that was something I started to enjoy, after I cancelled out of a few outings with friends (very reluctantly). So it was required for me to reassess my priorities.
Tara was a year old when I got her home, she had no idea on how to walk on a leash. So, we started leash training together, for the first time. And we learned, together where she liked to walk, how she liked to be led, and personally, I learned how to read her signs, of wanting to pee and poop. Our walks were extended, not the quick ‘bodily motion passing’ kinda 15 or 20 minute walks, so, we spent a couple of hours. I had to wake early, to ensure she got her stuff done, before I left for college.
It was during these walks that I ran into this old man, who owned three labrador dogs. I mean full-grown, beautifully trained labradors. Beautiful. Golden. Gorgeous. Dogs. They used to carry their bags into the store and carry stuff back in them. That was the first time I understood and saw what trained dogs could do. The old man, loved meeting Tara and did share some tips on her training and what worked for him. So, one more new friend en route walks, made for interesting conversations. Tara, did not take too kindly to the three gorgeous labradors so we changed our walk times and routes. But, we were happy together. And I missed my old friend with the frequent training tips.
Tara and I spent a lot of time together, she did not mind if I decided to walk fast or if I walked slow, or if I was a few minutes late. She was happy to be with me, as I was with her. We set our own pace. Sometimes, she stopped every few steps just to look back at me and came back for a cuddle, but most often, we spent a good couple of hours just walking around the block. I’ve discussed broken hearts, economic theories, chapters in history and experiments in psychology. Tara was my personal therapist and we both loved it. There was definitely a difference between pre-Tara and post Tara and my family can vouch for it.
The why of transformation
And this is what I am referring to when you try to answer the question – “Why get pets?” The transformation. If you believe; it will happen. But you have to believe. And give it the time, that’s required. Change does not happen overnight. Tara lived 14 odd years, and it took almost all that time for the transformation to make a difference. But it happened. It included a whole series of steps and I was willing to walk them. Reluctantly at first, and then it was just something we did together. No force. No foul. And no where on this journey, did we consider returning Tara or leave her out of our lives.
What to expect when she’s expecting?
She was with us for the long haul and we were with her for the duration. During this time, my dad convinced me that Tara had to go through a pregnancy. With this idea in mind, I convinced my sister to fund the entire expedition, from the transport to the stud’s residence to the cost of the act itself and the return. I was kept well away from the actual act itself, I was only required for the transport of Tara in the vehicle, my dad stood by while the deed was completed. And then we returned. The stud, was a black labrador named Devil. He was gorgeous. stunning with a healthy shine across his withers, he was easily a few inches bigger than Tara. I was told later, that he was the consummate professional. Walked in. Serviced. Walked out.
And that was that!! A tiny tick, next to the box for the task, ‘get Tara pregnant’. Post this, we ensured Tara got a healthier diet. She used to be fed Milk and cooked rice, now she got an egg at every meal. A big expense in those days for us. We were of course, completely unaware of the various medications we should have given her during her pregnancy or what we should have monitored during the gestation as well.
What to expect in the first year?!
It is believed that 1 dog year equals 7 human years in terms of development. The first week, was a blur, for Tara and for me. The only task I set myself was to ensure that she did not fall asleep on any of the pups. The task the pups set for me, was to ensure that they all ate and slept well. It was during this time, that we found one of the pups, was not eating/suckling and had to intervene so she got her nourishment. And another one had received a scratch on her neck that had become infected and collected with pus, that had to be drained. 7 pups underfoot, was challenging, more for Tara than me. That was the first time I heard her growl at the pups. They had scratched her while suckling and she was in pain. But it was just a warning, and when any of us were around she let them be. Around the second week, mum insisted we start identifying families where the pups would go. While she was ok for them to be around until they were a couple of months old (standard practice for pups to be sent away), she was keen that we identify ‘ideal’ homes for them to be re-homed into.
What started as a small exercise in identifying 7 families that could home our 7 pups, became a full-length feature requiring background checks and PI’s. Well almost. We were a family of 6 and with close friends and relatives included this number went up to almost 20. Each of these 20 people ideally would have a couple of close friends, so really identifying 7 should not have been a problem. But, in two short weeks, the pups had transformed us into obsessive detectives, we went into family details, location details, affordability in terms of where they would house the pups and how those pups would be cared for. It took us most of the next 6 weeks to finalize, but we were able to shortlist 7 families who would home and care for the 7 darlings Tara had gifted us. The 8th pup was the golden boy, Butch. He ended being a gift to my mother, who was most thrilled to have such a gorgeous looking dog in her home. Of course, the craziness that was Butch, will make for a story all his own.
Evaluating the pros and cons of getting a pet, Tara’s story stops here. But, keep in mind Tara is only around 6 or 7 years at this point and she still had a lot of life and lessons she wanted us to learn. She walked around us wagging her tail and keeping us occupied for another 6 years. Or was it us, walking circles around her?! The details are just a little fuzzy. But, there are just so many stories – close to 365 X14 years worth and not enough space to include them all at once. But, I will put them down in order as this series expands. However, if you want any particular tips do write to me and I will include my learnings and Tara’s teachings relevant to your query.
Just a little more 